Betrayal hurts. Healing and forgiving takes a long time. There are so many emotions involved: anger, betrayal, grief, sadness, jealousy, and wanting to retaliate. Most times, affairs are not about the marriage. In fact, it has more to do with the individual needing to feel more confident and secure within himself/herself. Forgiveness is most important when dealing with the aftermath of an affair. Forgiveness and learning how to rebuild the relationship is only part of a complex healing process.